1 00:00:07,641 --> 00:00:08,981 >> Jon: [ Distorted ] MY NAME'S 2 00:00:08,976 --> 00:00:09,306 JON. 3 00:00:09,310 --> 00:00:10,610 I'M IN THE WITNESS PROTECTION 4 00:00:10,611 --> 00:00:11,251 PROGRAM. 5 00:00:11,245 --> 00:00:12,945 THE RUSSIAN MOB WANTS ME DEAD, 6 00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:14,276 THE LOVE OF MY LIFE WAS 7 00:00:14,282 --> 00:00:15,982 MURDERED, BUT, HEY, THIS COOL, 8 00:00:15,983 --> 00:00:17,723 SINGLE DAD'S STILL GOT TO LIVE 9 00:00:17,718 --> 00:00:18,648 LIFE. 10 00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:21,392 OWW! 11 00:00:21,389 --> 00:00:23,319 PREVIOUSLY ON "DELOCATED!"... 12 00:00:23,324 --> 00:00:24,564 [ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ] 13 00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:25,928 >> I'LL WORK WITH YOU FOR A 14 00:00:25,926 --> 00:00:27,296 ONE-YEAR MINIMUM. 15 00:00:27,295 --> 00:00:30,055 $50,000 A MONTH. 16 00:00:30,064 --> 00:00:31,804 >> IF I WERE YOU, I WOULD 17 00:00:31,799 --> 00:00:33,829 CONSIDER PAYING ANOTHER MILLION 18 00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:35,004 FOR PROTECTION. 19 00:00:35,002 --> 00:00:37,612 >> HERE'S THE MILLION DOLLARS. 20 00:00:37,605 --> 00:00:39,605 [ TWO GUNSHOTS ] 21 00:00:39,607 --> 00:00:43,607 >> YOUR TIME COMING VERY SOON... 22 00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:46,081 JON'S WANG. 23 00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:48,320 >> Jon: [ SNORING ] 24 00:00:48,316 --> 00:00:53,816 [ ALARM CLOCK BUZZING ] 25 00:00:53,821 --> 00:00:54,621 [ BEEP ] 26 00:00:54,622 --> 00:00:57,092 [ SIGHS ] 27 00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:04,927 [ SCOFFS ] 28 00:01:04,932 --> 00:01:06,272 UNBELIEVABLE. 29 00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:07,137 T.B.! 30 00:01:07,135 --> 00:01:07,935 [ DOOR OPENS ] 31 00:01:07,935 --> 00:01:08,935 >> YEAH? WHAT'S UP? 32 00:01:08,936 --> 00:01:10,436 >> Jon: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS, 33 00:01:10,438 --> 00:01:10,798 MAN? 34 00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:12,114 >> [ CHUCKLES ] LOOKS LIKE 35 00:01:12,106 --> 00:01:13,336 SOMEONE HAD A CASE OF THE 36 00:01:13,341 --> 00:01:15,881 MIDNIGHT MUNCHINGTONS. 37 00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:17,946 >> Jon: THE WHAT? 38 00:01:17,945 --> 00:01:19,305 >> MIDNIGHT MUNCHINGTONS. 39 00:01:19,313 --> 00:01:20,883 IT'S WHAT WE CALLED LATE-NIGHT 40 00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:23,021 SNACKS AT GUANTáNAMO. 41 00:01:23,016 --> 00:01:24,286 LET'S JUST DROP IT. 42 00:01:24,285 --> 00:01:26,185 >> Jon: "MIDNIGHT MUNCHINGTONS"? 43 00:01:26,187 --> 00:01:28,317 >> I SAID DROP IT! 44 00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:29,622 >> Jon: ALL RIGHT. SORRY. 45 00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:30,963 >> SO, WHAT HAPPENED HERE? 46 00:01:30,958 --> 00:01:32,358 >> Jon: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING 47 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:32,990 ABOUT? 48 00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:34,203 YOU LEFT A MESS. 49 00:01:34,195 --> 00:01:35,355 I'M PISSED OFF. 50 00:01:35,363 --> 00:01:37,233 THERE WAS BREAD ON MY DUVET. 51 00:01:37,231 --> 00:01:39,331 WHAT THE [BLEEP] MAN? 52 00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:42,043 [ GUN COCKS ] 53 00:01:42,035 --> 00:01:43,495 >> SOMEONE WAS IN HERE LAST 54 00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:45,644 NIGHT. 55 00:01:45,639 --> 00:01:48,009 >> JON, YOU'RE EXPERIENCING A 56 00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:50,038 CONDITION I LIKE TO CALL 57 00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:53,313 NOCTURNAL EATING SYNDROME -- 58 00:01:53,314 --> 00:01:55,254 OR "NES" FOR SHORT. 59 00:01:55,249 --> 00:01:56,579 >> Jon: WHAT -- WHAT -- IS IT 60 00:01:56,584 --> 00:01:57,154 SERIOUS? 61 00:01:57,151 --> 00:01:58,591 >> IT'S A PHYSIOLOGICAL REACTION 62 00:01:58,586 --> 00:02:00,986 TO STRESS, WHICH IS MANIFESTING 63 00:02:00,988 --> 00:02:04,088 ITSELF IN YOUR DREAM STATE. 64 00:02:04,091 --> 00:02:06,191 >> [ BANGS TABLE ] JON. 65 00:02:06,194 --> 00:02:08,064 THE MIRMINSKY FAMILY WANTS TO 66 00:02:08,061 --> 00:02:08,931 MURDER YOU. 67 00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:10,929 OBVIOUSLY, THEY PARACHUTED INTO 68 00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:12,831 YOUR APARTMENT LAST NIGHT AND 69 00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:16,173 ATE A NICE, LONG MEAL JUST TO 70 00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:18,140 [BLEEP] WITH US. 71 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:20,740 SIR, YOU HAVE TO AT LEAST 72 00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:22,441 CONSIDER THE POSSIBILITY THAT 73 00:02:22,443 --> 00:02:24,213 THIS HAPPENED. 74 00:02:24,212 --> 00:02:25,452 >> Jon: I MEAN, IF THEY DID 75 00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:26,776 THAT, THEY COULD HAVE POISONED 76 00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:27,280 MY FOOD! 77 00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:28,581 >> NO ONE PUT POISON IN YOUR 78 00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:29,022 FOOD! 79 00:02:29,016 --> 00:02:30,416 >> COULD BE TIME-DELAYED POISON. 80 00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:32,218 >> Jon: TIME-DELAYED POISON! 81 00:02:32,220 --> 00:02:33,550 I'M DYING RIGHT NOW! 82 00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:34,364 I'M DYING! 83 00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:35,585 I DON'T FEEL GOOD. 84 00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:37,119 I-IT'S THE POISON. 85 00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:38,064 [ GAGGING ] 86 00:02:38,058 --> 00:02:39,528 I WANT TO MAKE MYSELF THROW UP. 87 00:02:39,527 --> 00:02:40,857 >> SO, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO 88 00:02:40,861 --> 00:02:41,201 DO? 89 00:02:41,195 --> 00:02:42,525 YOU WANT ME TO RIG YOUR LOFT 90 00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:44,570 WITH NIGHT-VISION CAMERAS SO WE 91 00:02:44,565 --> 00:02:46,195 CAN CATCH THE MIRMINSKYS 92 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,200 PARACHUTING INTO YOUR APARTMENT 93 00:02:48,202 --> 00:02:50,242 AND EATING A NICE MEAL IN FRONT 94 00:02:50,238 --> 00:02:51,768 OF YOU JUST TO [BLEEP] WITH 95 00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:52,242 YOU?! 96 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,980 >> Jon: YES! 97 00:02:54,975 --> 00:02:56,875 >> SO, YOU FIND FOOD IN YOUR 98 00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:58,707 HOUSE, AND YOU'RE SCARED TO 99 00:02:58,712 --> 00:02:59,982 DEATH? 100 00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:01,110 >> Jon: LOOK, I NEED MORE 101 00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:02,254 PROTECTION FROM YOU GUYS. 102 00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:03,480 >> IS ONLY NATURAL YOU WOULD 103 00:03:03,484 --> 00:03:05,894 FEEL THIS WAY, BEING ONLY AT 104 00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:07,316 GOLDFISH LEVEL. 105 00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:09,061 >> Jon: WHAT'S GOLDFISH LEVEL? 106 00:03:09,056 --> 00:03:10,816 >> GOLDFISH LEVEL OUR MOST BASIC 107 00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:12,494 PROTECTION PACKAGE. 108 00:03:12,493 --> 00:03:14,763 SOUND LIKE WHAT YOU NEED IS 109 00:03:14,762 --> 00:03:15,602 DRAGON LEVEL. 110 00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:16,956 >> Jon: HOLD ON A SECOND. 111 00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:18,674 YOU HAVE PACKAGES? 112 00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:19,996 >> OF COURSE. 113 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,670 DRAGON LEVEL WE RESERVE FOR OUR 114 00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:24,840 MOST ELITE CLIENTELE. 115 00:03:24,838 --> 00:03:27,638 YOU GET MORE ATTENTION, MORE 116 00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:30,241 COVERAGE, MORE... 117 00:03:30,244 --> 00:03:32,684 PERKSY-WERKSIES. 118 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:36,520 >> Jon: PERKSY-WERKSIES? 119 00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:37,117 OKAY. 120 00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:39,287 WELL, HOW MUCH IS DRAGON LEVEL? 121 00:03:39,287 --> 00:03:41,017 >> DRAGON LEVEL IS EXTRA 122 00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:41,661 $100,000. 123 00:03:41,655 --> 00:03:43,015 >> Jon: YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR 124 00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:43,963 [BLEEP] MIND -- 125 00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:46,657 >> ARE YOU QUESTIONING US? 126 00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:47,860 >> Jon: NO. 127 00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:50,361 WHAT ELSE WOULD I GET FOR ALL 128 00:03:50,364 --> 00:03:51,604 THAT MONEY? 129 00:03:51,599 --> 00:03:53,599 TICKETS TO BALLGAMES? 130 00:03:53,601 --> 00:03:54,871 YOU GUYS GOT A DAY SPA OR 131 00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:55,498 SOMETHING? 132 00:03:55,503 --> 00:03:56,343 WHAT DO I GET? 133 00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:58,037 >> UH, YES. 134 00:03:58,038 --> 00:03:59,838 ACCESS TO EXCLUSIVE WANG CHO 135 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:00,510 DAY SPA. 136 00:04:00,508 --> 00:04:02,508 >> Jon: OKAY, YOU GUYS GOT A DAY 137 00:04:02,510 --> 00:04:03,110 SPA. 138 00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:04,140 [ CHUCKLES ] 139 00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:04,954 WHERE IS IT? 140 00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:06,545 >> YOU HAVE TO CALL TO MAKE AN 141 00:04:06,547 --> 00:04:07,347 APPOINTMENT. 142 00:04:07,348 --> 00:04:08,878 >> Jon: ALL RIGHT. NO PROBS. 143 00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:09,722 I LIKE THAT. 144 00:04:09,717 --> 00:04:10,447 [ CLAPS ] 145 00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:11,651 OKAY, DRAGON LEVEL. 146 00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:12,892 YEAH, LET'S DO THIS. 147 00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:14,786 BE IN TOUCH, OKAY? 148 00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:15,618 [ CLAPS ] 149 00:04:15,623 --> 00:04:16,793 GUYS, GOOD NEWS! 150 00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:18,860 I'M GOING DRAGON! 151 00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:22,729 >> DON'T WORRY, JON. 152 00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:24,870 >> JON, TAKE THIS. 153 00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:28,667 >> Jon: WHY ARE YOU GIVING ME A 154 00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:29,139 TOOTH? 155 00:04:29,136 --> 00:04:30,166 >> IT'S NOT A TOOTH. 156 00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:31,670 IT'S A CYANIDE PILL -- IN CASE 157 00:04:31,672 --> 00:04:33,072 THE MIRMINSKYS RAPPEL IN HERE 158 00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:34,643 AND I CAN'T GET TO YOU IN TIME. 159 00:04:34,642 --> 00:04:36,012 BEFORE THEY HAVE A CHANCE TO 160 00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:37,579 KILL YOU, YOU BITE DOWN ON THAT. 161 00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:39,748 BOOM. YOU'LL BE DEAD. 162 00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:40,407 YOU WIN. 163 00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:42,154 >> Jon: YEAH, I'M NOT REALLY 164 00:04:42,149 --> 00:04:44,319 WORRIED ABOUT THAT. 165 00:04:44,318 --> 00:04:46,788 I'M AT DRAGON LEVEL. 166 00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:57,866 [ SNORING ] 167 00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:06,608 [ SNORING CONTINUES ] 168 00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:09,777 [ SNORING CONTINUES ] 169 00:05:09,777 --> 00:05:13,347 [ MUMBLING ] 170 00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:14,247 >> HE'S STIRRING. 171 00:05:14,247 --> 00:05:16,677 >> MNH? WHAT? WHA--WHAT? 172 00:05:16,684 --> 00:05:18,724 >> Jon: [ MOANS ] 173 00:05:18,719 --> 00:05:20,019 [ SNORING ] 174 00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:22,860 >> AHH. 175 00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:25,026 >> Jon: [ SNORING CONTINUES ] 176 00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:27,555 >> [ CHUCKLES ] 177 00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:30,701 TEXTBOOK N.E.S. 178 00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:32,528 >> YEAH. WE'LL SEE. 179 00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:33,933 >> PUT THAT GUN AWAY. 180 00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:35,874 >> [ SIGHS ] 181 00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:37,639 >> Jon: [ GRUNTS ] 182 00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:39,468 >> IS THAT A STEAK? 183 00:05:39,473 --> 00:05:42,043 >> JON'S INNERMOST SELF MUST 184 00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:44,412 HAVE A LATENT NEED FOR PROTEIN. 185 00:05:44,412 --> 00:05:46,082 >> Jon: [ MUMBLING ] 186 00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:47,249 >> DID HE JUST GRAB THE 187 00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:47,877 CINNAMON? 188 00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:48,721 >> [ CHUCKLES ] 189 00:05:48,716 --> 00:05:51,546 INTRIGUING CHOICE. 190 00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:53,452 >> IS THAT A SIDE-SALAD CAESAR 191 00:05:53,454 --> 00:05:54,094 SALAD? 192 00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:55,287 >> Jon: [ MOANS ] 193 00:05:55,288 --> 00:05:56,918 >> NO. 194 00:05:56,924 --> 00:06:00,334 THEY'RE MICROGREENS -- 195 00:06:00,327 --> 00:06:02,927 WITH CANDIED BALSAMIC BLOOD 196 00:06:02,930 --> 00:06:07,900 ORANGES AND A BLUE-CHEESE FOAM. 197 00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:30,292 >> WELL, WE'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO 198 00:06:30,290 --> 00:06:31,790 DO A COOKING SHOW, SO LET'S SEE 199 00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:33,632 WHAT YOU GOT. 200 00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:35,297 >> I'VE SEEN PLENTY OF CASES OF 201 00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:37,325 N.E.S., BUT I'VE NEVER SEEN 202 00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:38,830 SOMEONE DEMONSTRATE 203 00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:40,502 SLEEP-COOKING BEFORE. 204 00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:42,701 >> I THINK THIS COULD HIT WITH 205 00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:43,843 OUR FEMALE DEMOGRAPHIC. 206 00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:45,267 >> Jon: [ Slurring ] LET'S GET 207 00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:47,982 THIS PARTY STARTED. 208 00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:49,105 >> WHAT'S HAPPENING NOW? 209 00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:51,509 >> Jon: SUSAN. OHH. 210 00:06:51,512 --> 00:06:53,712 OH, YEAH! SUSAN! 211 00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:56,654 I, UH, I MUST BE DREAMING ABOUT 212 00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:58,050 MY EX-WIFE, SUSAN. 213 00:06:58,051 --> 00:06:59,551 >> SURE. OF COURSE. 214 00:06:59,553 --> 00:07:01,023 >> Jon: SUSAN, OH. 215 00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:02,561 SUSAN FROM NETWORK. 216 00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:05,126 SUSAN FROM NETWORK. 217 00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:08,555 LET'S GET THESE CLOTHES OFF. 218 00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:10,462 BOTH SUSANS. 219 00:07:10,464 --> 00:07:12,804 BOTH SUSANS KISS. 220 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:14,700 YEAH, SUSANS. 221 00:07:14,702 --> 00:07:17,372 HUMPING BOTH SUSANS. 222 00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:19,170 SUSANS IS SO GOOD! 223 00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:20,142 >> OKAY. 224 00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:20,970 [ CLICK ] 225 00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:21,584 WOW. 226 00:07:21,575 --> 00:07:23,335 ASIDE FROM THE PILLOW THREE-WAY, 227 00:07:23,343 --> 00:07:24,983 I THINK WE'VE GOT SOME PRETTY 228 00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:26,148 AMAZING FOOTAGE. 229 00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:27,746 >> NOT AS AMAZING AS THIS 230 00:07:27,748 --> 00:07:30,048 TASTES. 231 00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:32,190 [ LID POPS ] 232 00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:37,255 >> [ Muffled ] OH, MY GOD. 233 00:07:37,257 --> 00:07:38,757 >> SUCCULENT, RIGHT? 234 00:07:38,759 --> 00:07:40,729 >> IS THAT -- IS THAT CUMIN? 235 00:07:40,728 --> 00:07:42,498 >> CORIANDER AND AGAVE. 236 00:07:42,496 --> 00:07:43,726 >> AND YOU'VE NEVER COOKED 237 00:07:43,731 --> 00:07:44,831 PROFESSIONALLY BEFORE? 238 00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:45,272 >> NO. 239 00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:46,765 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT AGAVE IS. 240 00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:47,837 [ LAUGHS ] 241 00:07:47,835 --> 00:07:50,235 >> THROUGH OUR WORK TOGETHER, 242 00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:52,607 JON HAS MANAGED TO BREAK INTO 243 00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,936 HIS SUBCONSCIOUS, AND THERE, 244 00:07:54,942 --> 00:07:57,512 HE'S TAPPED INTO SOME REPRESSED 245 00:07:57,511 --> 00:07:59,911 CREATIVE IMPULSE. 246 00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:01,013 >> I JUST THINK WE HAVE 247 00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:02,424 SOMETHING HERE -- AGAIN, WITHOUT 248 00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:03,215 THE PILLOW RAPE. 249 00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:05,416 WE JUST NEED A NAME. 250 00:08:05,418 --> 00:08:06,588 >> Jon: [ CLAPS ] 251 00:08:06,587 --> 00:08:07,247 I GOT IT. 252 00:08:07,254 --> 00:08:08,524 >> DON'T SAY IT, JON. 253 00:08:08,522 --> 00:08:09,592 >> Jon: YES, T.B. 254 00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:10,920 IT IS THE PERFECT NAME. 255 00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:12,234 >> JON [BLEEP] DAMN IT. 256 00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:13,185 DON'T YOU DARE. 257 00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:14,863 >> Jon: YOU KNOW WHAT T.B. USED 258 00:08:14,862 --> 00:08:16,432 TO CALL LATE-NIGHT SNACKS AT 259 00:08:16,429 --> 00:08:17,199 GUANTáNAMO? 260 00:08:17,197 --> 00:08:18,467 >> HOW DARE YOU, JON. 261 00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:20,195 >> Jon: MIDNIGHT MUNCHINGTONS. 262 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,370 >> MIDNIGHT MUNCHINGTONS?! 263 00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:23,799 [ DOOR CLOSES ] 264 00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:25,444 >> Jon: GUYS, I COME WITH GOOD 265 00:08:25,438 --> 00:08:26,868 NEWS. 266 00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:29,084 TURNS OUT, I JUST HAD NOCTURNAL 267 00:08:29,076 --> 00:08:30,436 COOKING SYNDROME. 268 00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:32,413 IT'S COOKING IN MY SLEEP -- 269 00:08:32,412 --> 00:08:34,282 SLEEP-COOKING. 270 00:08:34,281 --> 00:08:35,921 ANYWAY, UH, MY POINT IS, I'D 271 00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:37,586 LIKE TO GET MY MONEY BACK AND 272 00:08:37,585 --> 00:08:39,115 GO BACK TO GOLDFISH LEVEL. 273 00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:41,289 >> YES, ABOUT THAT -- WE JUST 274 00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:43,558 RECEIVE THREAT FROM MIRMINSKY 275 00:08:43,557 --> 00:08:45,427 FAMILY. 276 00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:47,955 I ACTUALLY RECOMMEND YOU UPGRADE 277 00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:49,801 FROM DRAGON LEVEL TO 278 00:08:49,797 --> 00:08:53,467 SUPER DRAGON LEVEL. 279 00:08:53,466 --> 00:08:55,736 EXTRA $200,000. 280 00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:57,436 > Jon: NO WAY, MAN! COME ON! 281 00:08:57,437 --> 00:08:58,337 >> VERY WELL. 282 00:08:58,338 --> 00:09:00,738 REMAIN AT DRAGON LEVEL. 283 00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:03,681 BUT...YOU KNOW WHAT THE 284 00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:07,107 MIRMINSKYS JUST SENT US? 285 00:09:07,114 --> 00:09:09,984 THIS AWL. 286 00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:11,593 IT'S LIKE A SCREWDRIVER, BUT 287 00:09:11,585 --> 00:09:13,185 WITH A SHARP POINT. 288 00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:15,486 MAYBE SERGEI USE SCREWDRIVER 289 00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:17,958 RIGHT INTO YOUR BRAIN -- IN AND 290 00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:19,788 OUT, IN AND OUT. 291 00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:22,103 GETS ME HARD JUST THINKING 292 00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:24,555 ABOUT IT. 293 00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:30,799 >> Jon: YEAH, MAYBE, UH... 294 00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:31,944 WHY DON'T WE TRY THIS 295 00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:32,969 SUPER DRAGON LEVEL? 296 00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:35,443 THAT'S A GOOD CALL. 297 00:09:35,442 --> 00:09:36,342 UH, HEY, UM... 298 00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:37,013 [ CLAPS ] 299 00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:38,510 SPA OPEN? 300 00:09:38,511 --> 00:09:41,621 I COULD GO FOR A NICE "SCHLONG" 301 00:09:41,615 --> 00:09:43,175 MASSAGE. 302 00:09:44,618 --> 00:09:46,788 >> LET'S SAY HELLO AND THEN 303 00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:48,957 GOOD NIGHT TO THE SLEEP CHEF 304 00:09:48,956 --> 00:09:50,816 HIMSELF, JON! 305 00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:52,064 [ UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS ] 306 00:09:52,059 --> 00:09:54,529 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 307 00:09:56,563 --> 00:09:58,203 >> Jon: ALL RIGHT, LET'S HAVE 308 00:09:58,198 --> 00:09:59,228 SOME FUN TONIGHT! 309 00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:00,532 [ MUSIC PLAYS ] 310 00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:05,013 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 311 00:10:05,005 --> 00:10:06,305 [ CLOCK TICKING ] 312 00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:08,776 [ SNORING ] 313 00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:18,386 [ GRUNTS ] 314 00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:23,585 [ MOANING ] 315 00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:28,760 [ SNORING ] 316 00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:30,532 [ MUMBLING ] 317 00:10:30,530 --> 00:10:31,670 >> Good luck, Jon. 318 00:10:31,665 --> 00:10:32,725 >> UH? 319 00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:35,843 [ Slurring ] HEY...GET OUT! 320 00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:39,006 GET OUT OF HERE, JAY. 321 00:10:39,006 --> 00:10:40,036 [ CLOCK TICKING ] 322 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:40,840 [ MUMBLING ] 323 00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:42,411 >> LOOKS LIKE HE'S STARTING 324 00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:45,749 THINGS OFF WITH A POACHED EGG. 325 00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:47,946 >> Jon: [ SNORING ] 326 00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:48,918 >> SMOKED SALMON. 327 00:10:48,916 --> 00:10:50,276 I BELIEVE HE'S GONNA MAKE A 328 00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:52,053 NORWEGIAN BENEDICT. 329 00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:53,892 >> Jon: [ MUMBLING ] 330 00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:55,957 >> THE REAL STAR OF ANY BENEDICT 331 00:10:55,956 --> 00:10:57,556 IS OBVIOUSLY THE SAUCE. 332 00:10:57,557 --> 00:10:58,857 [ CLOCK TICKING ] 333 00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:00,629 >> THAT IS A PERFECT POACH. 334 00:11:00,627 --> 00:11:02,597 >> BUT IT'S NOTHING WITHOUT THE 335 00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:03,225 SAUCE. 336 00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:04,630 [ TIMER DINGS, CLOCK TICKING ] 337 00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:05,601 >> HERE IT IS. 338 00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:06,968 HERE COMES YOUR SAUCE. 339 00:11:06,967 --> 00:11:07,867 THERE IT IS. 340 00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:08,768 >> [ GROANS ] 341 00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:10,139 WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT? 342 00:11:10,137 --> 00:11:10,967 >> AND BOOM. 343 00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:12,311 LOOK AT THAT DRIZZLE. 344 00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:13,735 >> Jon: [ MOANING ] 345 00:11:13,741 --> 00:11:15,541 >> OKAY, HE'S ALMOST DONE 346 00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:16,312 PLATING. 347 00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:18,249 >> Jon: [ MOANS ] 348 00:11:18,245 --> 00:11:20,405 [ MUSIC PLAYS ] 349 00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:24,323 [ APPLAUSE ] 350 00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:25,987 [ SNORING ] 351 00:11:25,986 --> 00:11:28,556 [ GRUNTS ] 352 00:11:28,555 --> 00:11:30,085 >> [ Softly ] HEY. 353 00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:31,890 GREAT JOB, SLEEPYHEAD. 354 00:11:31,892 --> 00:11:34,802 THE SHOW WAS A HUGE SUCCESS. 355 00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:36,395 >> Jon: YEAH? 356 00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:38,496 WHA-- WHAT'D I MAKE? 357 00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:40,928 >> A NORWEGIAN BENEDICT. 358 00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:41,944 MM-HMM. 359 00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,435 >> Jon: YEAH? 360 00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:46,306 DID YOU SAVE ME SOME? 361 00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:47,236 >> NO. 362 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,080 >> Jon: OH, WELL. 363 00:11:49,076 --> 00:11:50,406 HEY, SUSAN. 364 00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:52,110 UH, W-WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE 365 00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:52,582 SHOW? 366 00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:53,509 >> IT WAS GREAT. 367 00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:55,153 I'LL GET YOU A COPY OF THE TAPE 368 00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:56,678 VERY SOON. 369 00:11:56,683 --> 00:12:00,093 SPEAK TO YOU LATER. 370 00:12:00,087 --> 00:12:01,117 >> Jon: WHAT JUST HAPPENED? 371 00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:01,991 WHAT -- WHAT'S WRONG? 372 00:12:01,989 --> 00:12:03,119 >> YOU ENDED UP TRYING TO HAVE 373 00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:05,593 SEX WITH HER PILLOW AGAIN. 374 00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:06,762 >> Fifth base. 375 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:08,030 >> Jon: OH! 376 00:12:12,099 --> 00:12:13,369 >> Jon: YEAH, I THINK I WANT TO 377 00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:13,866 CELEBRATE. 378 00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:15,167 GO TO BLOOMIE'S, GET A NEW PAIR 379 00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:17,038 OF CARGO SHORTS. 380 00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:18,467 I HEAR THEY MAKE A PAIR THAT HAS 381 00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:19,111 12 POCKETS. 382 00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:19,536 >> WOW. 383 00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:20,809 >> Jon: HOW SWEET DOES THAT 384 00:12:20,808 --> 00:12:21,208 SOUND? 385 00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:22,138 >> EXCUSE ME! JON? 386 00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:22,882 >> WHOA, WHOA. 387 00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:23,976 SLOW DOWN, LITTLE LADY. 388 00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:24,847 >> Jon: WHOA, T.B. 389 00:12:24,845 --> 00:12:25,475 CHILL. 390 00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:27,148 >> THIS IS EMBARRASSING. 391 00:12:27,147 --> 00:12:29,147 I'VE BEEN WAITING OUTSIDE YOUR 392 00:12:29,149 --> 00:12:31,049 BUILDING TO INTRODUCE MYSELF. 393 00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:32,291 MY NAME IS MARLO. 394 00:12:32,285 --> 00:12:33,685 I-I'VE BEEN TO THREE 395 00:12:33,686 --> 00:12:35,686 "MIDNIGHT MUNCHINGTONS" TAPINGS 396 00:12:35,688 --> 00:12:36,688 ALREADY. 397 00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:39,229 YOUR COOKING -- IT MOVES ME. 398 00:12:39,226 --> 00:12:42,056 YOU'RE SO CALM AND DELICATE, YET 399 00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:43,562 FIRM AND PRECISE. 400 00:12:43,563 --> 00:12:46,033 YOU PUT SO MUCH LOVE INTO EVERY 401 00:12:46,033 --> 00:12:46,503 DISH. 402 00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:47,999 IT'S LIKE -- IT'S LIKE YOU'RE 403 00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:49,471 BRINGING A NEW BABY INTO THE 404 00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:52,869 WORLD EACH TIME, AND...I JUST 405 00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:54,473 HAD TO MEET THE MAN BEHIND THE 406 00:12:54,474 --> 00:12:54,984 APRON. 407 00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:56,475 >> Jon: YOU KNOW, I WAS JUST 408 00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:58,046 ABOUT TO GO SHOPPING FOR CARGO 409 00:12:58,045 --> 00:13:00,305 SHORTS. 410 00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:02,383 MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO JOIN ME? 411 00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:03,982 >> [ GASPS ] 412 00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:06,494 YEAH, I WOULD LOVE TO! YES! 413 00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:07,686 >> Jon: PRETTY SWEET, HUH? 414 00:13:07,687 --> 00:13:09,087 BUY 12 POCKETS, GET TWO POCKETS 415 00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:10,519 FREE. 416 00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:11,323 [ CHUCKLES ] 417 00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:12,264 >> [ CHUCKLES ] 418 00:13:12,259 --> 00:13:13,259 >> Jon: NOT BAD. 419 00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:13,890 >> YEAH. 420 00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:15,564 >> Jon: YOU KNOW, IT'S TOO BAD 421 00:13:15,562 --> 00:13:17,002 YOUR NAME ISN'T LORRAINE, 422 00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:18,267 'CAUSE, UH, I WOULDN'T MIND 423 00:13:18,265 --> 00:13:19,525 TAKING A BITE OUT OF THIS 424 00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:20,702 QUICHE. 425 00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:22,340 [ CHUCKLES ] 426 00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:23,935 >> YOU KNOW, I-I THINK I'VE MADE 427 00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:26,167 A MISTAKE. 428 00:13:26,173 --> 00:13:27,573 I'M SORRY, JON. 429 00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:30,214 IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU. 430 00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:31,540 >> Jon: WHAT JUST HAPPENED? 431 00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:33,354 THINGS WERE GOING SO GREAT. 432 00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:34,106 >> MARLO! 433 00:13:34,114 --> 00:13:35,384 HOLD ON A SECOND! 434 00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:37,722 MARLO, WHEN YOU WATCH JON 435 00:13:37,717 --> 00:13:40,217 SLEEP-COOKING, YOU FIND HIM 436 00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:42,090 APPEALING, CORRECT? 437 00:13:42,089 --> 00:13:43,589 >> YES, VERY MUCH. 438 00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:44,360 >> JON. 439 00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:46,557 IF YOU TWO WILL INDULGE ME, I 440 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:47,629 HAVE A PLAN. 441 00:13:47,627 --> 00:13:49,397 IT MIGHT SEEM A LITTLE 442 00:13:49,396 --> 00:13:52,526 UNORTHODOX, BUT I SUSPECT IT'LL 443 00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:55,302 WORK WONDERS. 444 00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:59,372 IT'S CALLED SLEEP-DATING. 445 00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:00,812 >> Jon: [ SNORING ] 446 00:14:00,807 --> 00:14:02,907 >> * DATING SOMEONE IN THEIR 447 00:14:02,910 --> 00:14:04,380 SLEEP * 448 00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:08,147 * IT'S NOT EASY TO DO 449 00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:11,648 * IT'S A ONE-SIDED LOVE AFFAIR 450 00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:15,591 >> OH! OH! 451 00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:18,088 >> * BUT IT'S A SACRIFICE THAT 452 00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:22,101 LOVERS SOMETIMES HAVE TO MAKE * 453 00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:23,555 >> Jon: [ SNORING ] 454 00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:26,303 >> * EVEN IF ONE PERSON'S NOT 455 00:14:26,299 --> 00:14:28,739 ALL THERE * 456 00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:30,965 * YEAH 457 00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:31,741 >> Jon: [ SNORING ] 458 00:14:31,738 --> 00:14:32,968 >> * OOH 459 00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:35,513 >> OH, SLEEP JON! OH, SLEEP JON! 460 00:14:35,508 --> 00:14:36,938 [ MOANS, PANTS ] 461 00:14:36,944 --> 00:14:39,014 >> Jon: [ SNORING ] 462 00:14:39,012 --> 00:14:42,582 >> * OOH, OH 463 00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:51,621 >> Jon: [ YAWNS ] 464 00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:53,834 I'M TOTALLY ASLEEP RIGHT NOW. 465 00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:55,926 JUMP MY BONES, HONEY. 466 00:14:57,998 --> 00:15:00,868 [ FOOTSTEPS DEPART ] 467 00:15:00,867 --> 00:15:01,867 >> ALL RIGHT, JON. 468 00:15:01,868 --> 00:15:02,938 [ WATER SWISHING ] 469 00:15:02,936 --> 00:15:04,496 LET'S BEGIN OUR BATHTUB-THERAPY 470 00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:06,144 SESSION. 471 00:15:06,139 --> 00:15:08,609 WHEN YOU'RE READY. 472 00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:17,990 >> Jon: [ GASPS ] 473 00:15:17,985 --> 00:15:19,015 >> THAT'S RIGHT, JON. 474 00:15:19,019 --> 00:15:19,889 >> Jon: [ COUGHS ] 475 00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:21,346 >> NOW I WANT YOU TO SHIFT GEARS 476 00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:22,024 A LITTLE BIT. 477 00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:23,322 WE'VE DONE THE VERBAL THING. 478 00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:25,563 I WOULD LIKE YOU TO VISUALIZE 479 00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:27,128 ALL YOUR FEELINGS. 480 00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:29,597 >> Jon: [ COUGHS ] 481 00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:46,652 >> AH. 482 00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:48,176 I'M REALLY SORRY, JON, BUT I'M 483 00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:49,721 GONNA HAVE TO CUT THIS SESSION 484 00:15:49,716 --> 00:15:50,216 SHORT. 485 00:15:50,217 --> 00:15:51,717 I'VE GOT A PITCH MEETING WITH 486 00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:53,848 SUSAN FROM THE NETWORK. 487 00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:55,893 YEP. WISH ME LUCK. 488 00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:57,418 [ CHUCKLES ] 489 00:15:57,424 --> 00:15:58,364 >> Jon: WAIT A MINUTE! 490 00:15:58,358 --> 00:15:59,528 WHO -- WHO AM I SUPPOSED TO TALK 491 00:15:59,526 --> 00:16:00,986 TO NOW? 492 00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:02,734 [ SPLASH ] 493 00:16:02,729 --> 00:16:04,559 THERE'S AWAKE JON, AND THEN 494 00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:06,504 THERE'S SLEEP JON. 495 00:16:06,499 --> 00:16:07,929 I NEED TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO 496 00:16:07,934 --> 00:16:09,504 GET AWAKE JON TO A PLACE WHERE 497 00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:11,542 HE IS AS HAPPY, IF NOT HAPPIER, 498 00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:12,908 THAN SLEEP JON. 499 00:16:12,905 --> 00:16:15,375 GOT TO TALK TO MARLO. BUT HOW? 500 00:16:15,375 --> 00:16:17,235 GUESS WHAT. SAME DICK. 501 00:16:17,244 --> 00:16:18,884 SHE DOESN'T WANT THE DAY DICK. 502 00:16:18,878 --> 00:16:20,278 SHE WANTS THE NIGHT DICK. 503 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:21,780 I'M SORRY. AM I BORING YOU? 504 00:16:21,781 --> 00:16:23,521 IT'S CALLED SUPER DRAGON LEVEL. 505 00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:24,616 YOU HA TO LISTEN! 506 00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:26,187 SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO HAVE SEX 507 00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:27,716 WITH AWAKE JON, BUT SHE VERY 508 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,260 WELL BETTER HAVE RESPECT FOR 509 00:16:29,256 --> 00:16:29,716 HIM. 510 00:16:29,722 --> 00:16:31,462 [ Crying ] AND I DON'T LIKE THE 511 00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:32,888 FACT THAT EVERYONE LIKES 512 00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:34,592 SLEEP JON MORE THAN AWAKE JON! 513 00:16:34,594 --> 00:16:36,234 >> THAT'S IT! 514 00:16:36,229 --> 00:16:39,129 SUPER DRAGON LEVEL EXPIRED! 515 00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:39,632 GET OUT! 516 00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:40,872 >> Jon: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 517 00:16:40,867 --> 00:16:41,427 "EXPIRED"? 518 00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:42,904 >> SUPER DRAGON LEVEL LASTS ONLY 519 00:16:42,902 --> 00:16:43,542 TWO WEEKS! 520 00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:44,236 >> Jon: FINE. 521 00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:45,607 SIGN ME UP FOR TWO MORE WEEKS. 522 00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:46,205 >> NO! 523 00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:47,966 SUPER DRAGON LEVEL SIGN-UP IS 524 00:16:47,974 --> 00:16:48,744 TOMORROW! 525 00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:50,611 YOU SHUT THE [BLEEP] UP AND GET 526 00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:51,040 OUT! 527 00:16:51,044 --> 00:16:51,814 >> Jon: FINE. 528 00:16:51,811 --> 00:16:53,281 I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW, THEN. 529 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:55,450 >> GO SEE A THERAPIST! 530 00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:57,648 >> YES, AMY. 531 00:16:57,650 --> 00:16:59,750 YOU'RE MAKING PROGRESS. 532 00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:01,122 JAKE! MAGGIE! 533 00:17:01,121 --> 00:17:02,621 [ Crying ] THAT'S NO WAY TO 534 00:17:02,622 --> 00:17:03,462 COMMUNICATE. 535 00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:04,716 VERY GOOD, BRAD. 536 00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:06,564 BUT NOW YOU'VE GOT TO TELL 537 00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:07,389 ANGELINA. 538 00:17:07,394 --> 00:17:08,164 [ SOBS ] 539 00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:09,401 VERY GOOD, TIM. 540 00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:10,226 TERRIFIC! 541 00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:11,730 THAT'S A SIGNIFICANT 542 00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:13,471 BREAKTHROUGH. 543 00:17:13,466 --> 00:17:14,896 [ CLICK ] 544 00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:16,271 [ BLOWS ] 545 00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:18,469 THE SHOW WILL FOCUS EXTENSIVELY 546 00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:20,271 ON THE PSYCHOLOGICAL AND 547 00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:22,413 EMOTIONAL WORK I'VE BEEN DOING 548 00:17:22,409 --> 00:17:25,009 WITH ALL MY CELEBRITY CLIENTS. 549 00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:27,281 IT'S CALLED "HEALIN' YOUR 550 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,580 FEELIN'S WITH THE GLAZE." 551 00:17:29,582 --> 00:17:31,522 >> BRAD AND ANGELINA. 552 00:17:31,518 --> 00:17:33,118 MAGGIE AND JAKE. 553 00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:34,750 YOU'VE REALLY WORKED WITH ALL 554 00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:37,224 THESE PEOPLE? 555 00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:47,929 >> NOPE. 556 00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:49,104 [ THEME MUSIC PLAYS ] 557 00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:50,702 >> HE'S SIMMERING SOME MARZIPAN 558 00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:51,543 OVER LOW HEAT. 559 00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:53,168 >> THIS COULD BE BECAUSE OF THE 560 00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:54,673 TROUBLE HE'S BEEN HAVING WITH 561 00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:56,984 HIS GIRLFRIEND, MARLO. 562 00:17:56,976 --> 00:18:00,046 "MAR" -- "MARZIPAN." 563 00:18:00,046 --> 00:18:02,976 "LO" -- "LOW HEAT." 564 00:18:02,982 --> 00:18:07,052 >> Jon: [ MOANING ANGRILY ] 565 00:18:07,053 --> 00:18:09,463 >> MARZIPAN LO MEIN BORSCHT. 566 00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:12,056 >> I THINK HE MIGHT BE TRYING TO 567 00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:14,658 COALESCE HIS FEELINGS ABOUT HIS 568 00:18:14,661 --> 00:18:17,161 GIRLFRIEND AND THE RUSSIAN AND 569 00:18:17,164 --> 00:18:19,474 CHINESE GANGS INTO A SINGLE 570 00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:19,966 DISH. 571 00:18:19,966 --> 00:18:21,726 EVERYTHING'S BUBBLING UP TO THE 572 00:18:21,734 --> 00:18:25,374 SURFACE. 573 00:18:25,372 --> 00:18:27,712 >> Jon: [ SNORES ] 574 00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:28,577 >> AH. 575 00:18:28,575 --> 00:18:31,135 NOW HE'S APPLYING A GLAZE TO 576 00:18:31,144 --> 00:18:32,654 THE -- 577 00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:34,005 NO. 578 00:18:34,013 --> 00:18:35,553 NO, THAT -- THAT'S, UH... 579 00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:36,818 THAT'S NOT A GLAZE. 580 00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:38,646 JON'S APPLYING A SECONDARY 581 00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:40,721 APPLICATION OF HEAT. 582 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:44,160 >> RIGHT -- A GLAZE. 583 00:18:44,157 --> 00:18:48,527 >> Jon: [ MUMBLING ] 584 00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:49,398 [ GRUNTS ] 585 00:18:49,396 --> 00:18:50,396 >> [ GIGGLES ] 586 00:18:50,397 --> 00:18:53,367 OKAY. THANK YOU. 587 00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:56,096 MMM. MMM. 588 00:18:56,102 --> 00:18:58,072 THIS IS AMAZING. 589 00:18:58,070 --> 00:19:00,040 >> Jon: [ GRUNTING ANGRILY ] 590 00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:08,254 [ Slurred ] NO. NO. NO. 591 00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:11,278 NO. NO. NO. 592 00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:13,554 NO, NO. NO. 593 00:19:13,553 --> 00:19:17,223 YOU GO TO BATHROOM. 594 00:19:17,224 --> 00:19:18,764 >> WHAT'S WRONG, JON? 595 00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:20,228 >> Jon: [ MUMBLING ] 596 00:19:20,227 --> 00:19:20,787 >> WHAT? 597 00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:21,793 >> Jon: [ GRUNTS ] 598 00:19:21,794 --> 00:19:22,864 >> WHA-- [ GASPS ] 599 00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:24,632 SLEEP JON -- HAPPY. 600 00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:26,301 AWAKE JON -- SAD. 601 00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:28,469 SLEEP JON'S HAPPINESS IS 602 00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:30,438 DESTROYING AWAKE JON. 603 00:19:30,437 --> 00:19:31,737 >> Jon: [ MUMBLES ] 604 00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:32,638 [ SNORES ] 605 00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:34,809 >> AND IF THERE'S NO AWAKE JON, 606 00:19:34,807 --> 00:19:36,937 THERE'S NO SLEEP JON. 607 00:19:36,943 --> 00:19:38,813 >> Jon: [ SNORES ] 608 00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:40,651 >> I'M SORRY, JON. 609 00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:43,277 I-I ONLY WISH AWAKE JON WAS 610 00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:45,253 HALF THE MAN YOU ARE. 611 00:19:47,387 --> 00:19:49,317 >> Jon: [ GRUNTS ] 612 00:19:49,322 --> 00:19:52,462 [ SNORES ] 613 00:19:52,459 --> 00:19:53,929 >> I'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU, 614 00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:55,456 SLEEP JON. 615 00:19:55,462 --> 00:19:58,972 [ SMOOCHES ] 616 00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:01,425 [ CRYING ] 617 00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:03,644 >> Jon: [ SNORING ] 618 00:20:09,175 --> 00:20:12,135 [ SIGHS ] 619 00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:13,984 [ GROANS ] MAN. 620 00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:15,820 [ COUGHS ] 621 00:20:15,815 --> 00:20:18,175 [ GROANS ] 622 00:20:18,184 --> 00:20:20,254 WHAT'S GOING ON? 623 00:20:20,253 --> 00:20:22,363 HOW WAS THE SHOW LAST NIGHT? 624 00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:24,615 >> "MIDNIGHT MUNCHINGTONS" GOT 625 00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:26,334 CANCELED TWO DAYS AGO. 626 00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:28,626 >> Jon: OH. 627 00:20:28,628 --> 00:20:29,958 >> SUSAN CANCELED IT. 628 00:20:29,962 --> 00:20:31,802 WE'VE BEEN WANTING TO TELL YOU, 629 00:20:31,798 --> 00:20:33,368 BUT YOU'VE BEEN ASLEEP FOR 630 00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:35,336 72 HOURS, JON. 631 00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:36,535 >> Jon: [ SCOFFS ] 632 00:20:36,536 --> 00:20:37,536 WHERE'S MARLO? 633 00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:38,837 >> YOU TWO BROKE UP. 634 00:20:38,838 --> 00:20:40,808 >> Jon: SLEEP JON LET A SHMOKIN' 635 00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:42,477 PIECE OF TUSH LIKE THAT GET 636 00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:43,805 AWAY? 637 00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:45,040 [ Chuckling ] OH, MAN. 638 00:20:45,044 --> 00:20:45,854 WHAT A HOMO. 639 00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:46,445 >> HEY. 640 00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:48,106 I THINK IT'S A BREAKTHROUGH, TO 641 00:20:48,114 --> 00:20:49,324 BE QUITE HONEST. 642 00:20:49,316 --> 00:20:51,346 YOU HAVEN'T SHOWN ANY SIGNS OF 643 00:20:51,351 --> 00:20:53,491 NOCTURNAL COOKING SYNDROME SINCE 644 00:20:53,486 --> 00:20:54,486 THE BREAKUP. 645 00:20:54,487 --> 00:20:56,287 >> YEAH, TELL ME ABOUT IT. 646 00:20:56,289 --> 00:20:58,189 >> Jon: WELL, THAT IS A HUGE 647 00:20:58,190 --> 00:21:00,130 BUMMER ALL ACROSS THE BOARD -- 648 00:21:00,126 --> 00:21:02,456 ON ALL FRONTS. 649 00:21:02,462 --> 00:21:04,202 WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? 650 00:21:04,196 --> 00:21:05,226 THAT'S ALL RIGHT. 651 00:21:05,231 --> 00:21:06,871 I THINK I GOT THE CURE FOR THE 652 00:21:06,866 --> 00:21:09,066 BREAKUP BLUES. 653 00:21:09,068 --> 00:21:10,638 [ ASIAN MUSIC PLAYS ] 654 00:21:10,637 --> 00:21:12,237 WHERE ARE THOSE MASSAGE GIRLS, 655 00:21:12,238 --> 00:21:12,838 HUH? 656 00:21:12,839 --> 00:21:13,709 COME ON. 657 00:21:13,706 --> 00:21:16,006 MY WIENER'S AT GOLDFISH LEVEL. 658 00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:17,978 [ LAUGHS ] 659 00:21:21,247 --> 00:21:22,347 GET IT? 660 00:21:22,349 --> 00:21:23,679 [ LAUGHS ] 661 00:21:23,683 --> 00:21:25,253 GET THOSE MASSAGE GIRLS IN HERE, 662 00:21:25,251 --> 00:21:26,551 I'LL GET IT UP TO SEA BASS 663 00:21:26,553 --> 00:21:27,023 LEVEL. 664 00:21:27,019 --> 00:21:28,519 A LITTLE EXTRA WORK, GET IT UP 665 00:21:28,521 --> 00:21:29,521 TO BARRACUDA. 666 00:21:29,522 --> 00:21:31,392 THEN SHARK. 667 00:21:31,391 --> 00:21:33,261 THEN WHALE. 668 00:21:33,259 --> 00:21:35,189 BLUE WHALE. 669 00:21:35,194 --> 00:21:36,534 [ LAUGHS ] 670 00:21:36,529 --> 00:21:38,199 PROBABLY THOUGHT I WAS GONNA SAY 671 00:21:38,197 --> 00:21:40,167 "SPERM WHALE," RIGHT? 672 00:21:40,166 --> 00:21:41,396 [ LAUGHS ] 673 00:21:41,401 --> 00:21:42,771 THREW YOU A CURVEBALL. 674 00:21:42,769 --> 00:21:44,399 DON'T DIG IN TOO TIGHT IN THE 675 00:21:44,404 --> 00:21:46,174 BATTER'S BOX WHEN THIS GUY'S ON 676 00:21:46,172 --> 00:21:46,842 THE MOUND. 677 00:21:46,839 --> 00:21:48,809 'CAUSE I'LL BRING THE HEAT!